Celebrating Failure

This semester I have failed as a result of over commitment. I had originally planned to intern full time this summer at a law firm that I had worked for previously. I had been doing a bit of remote work for them at school this past year and was so looking forward to returning this summer. Due to the coronavirus, I was fur-lowed and asked to postpone returning to work until further notice. Michigan was under a very strict stay-at-home order and, because the court system was closed and settlements would be delayed, the firm was concerned about revenue. Although this was very understandable, I had been enrolled in the internship course required by Warrington for this term with that position. Ultimately, I decided to offer myself for 15 hours per week unpaid in order to satisfy this requirement and graduate on time. At the same time, I enrolled in multiple expedited courses for the summer, figuring I would now have additional time and could make headway on my degree audit. Not two weeks into this summer term, I was offered my full time job back at the firm and, more than that, was expected to play catch up for all the time lost. I did still need the minimum hours for my requirement, and financially needed to return to work. So I returned to this position with a 30 hour per week expectation. I worked hard to make everything work this summer but the burnout I experienced about 5 weeks into this rigorous schedule I will call Death By Overcommitment. Because I was assuming a combination of “part-time” activities, I seemed to avoid the natural boundaries of a full-time work or school schedule. I had unfortunately missed a few deadlines for courses and did not give enough preparation to other assignments.  I tried to get ahead in the courses that I could but have had to play catch up as a result, digging myself out of a hole academically. 

I suffered after forgetting assignments at first and sat in my shame for longer than I would like to admit. My Canvas calendar became my enemy and a visual reminder of my failure. Likewise, my work email forever seemed to show deadlines and inquiries, all requiring time and attention to respond to. This experience has humbled me and stripped away my inflated ego about just how well I was able to manage things. All in all, nothing completely catastrophic occurred and for that I am thankful, but it seemed like a million smaller defeats. The lesson I take away from this is that you either manage your work load or you struggle to put the fires out after the fact. Had I spoken up earlier to my boss, I would have likely been able to arrange another schedule for work, accommodating my school commitments. Had I kept a closer eye on deadlines, I likely could have gotten ahead of the curve a bit more. I will be further cognizant to add things slowly to my plate rather than allow them to spiral out of control, and be honest with superiors when needed, rather than letting my pride take over. This course has shown me the value in the journey of entrepreneurship and helped to shift my mind away from the idea that a “perfect” record will insure greatness. Alternatively, we continued to see examples of individuals who were wildly successful after gathering their skill set and moving from job to job or experience to experience. This encourages me that success is a marathon, not a sprint, and often the most successful people were able to learn something from every odd job or assignment they had.